Writing my very first blog post, in many ways, is kind of overwhelming in that there are so many things I would like to open up about, so many thoughts and feelings I would like to share with the world, but knowing exactly where to start has proven to be quite a challenge.

Many of you reading this may already know who I am, but some of you will not, so I will start by introducing myself. My name is Sean. I am a divorced, 32-year old father of 2 beautiful daughters named Sienna & Aria. I am passionate about travel, health & fitness, personal growth, empowering others, and finance. I love yoga, hiking, climbing, kayaking, biking, exploring, coaching others and investing.

In one week, I am about to fly across the country to meet my girlfriend Jamie, who is from California. We are about to finally meet face-to-face for the first time after dating long distance for nearly a year. Together we are going to take a trip to Europe. Assuming things go well, we will then take a 3,000 mile cross-country road trip together along with Jamie’s dog, Raven, driving from California back to Pennsylvania (from CA-to-PA).

How Did I Arrive Here?

So how exactly did I arrive at this point? First, let me back up a little bit and explain. When I was 23 years old, I married a woman I loved, my high school sweetheart. We dated for 6 years and were married for 7 when things came apart. We had spent 13 years together. There were a lot of good moments along the way, but while our time together wasn’t bad, the challenges of marriage seemed to change us. In time it became apparent we were two very different people who looked at life quite differently, had contrasting goals, and opposing core values. I don’t think there is ever just one thing that makes a marriage break. Rather, it’s a combination of a lot of little and big things that occur over time. But, in the end, we just didn’t seem to mesh well together. Also, I suppose the odds weren’t ever really in our favor either. I later learned that only 2% of high school sweetheart relationships actually workout in the long run.

I don’t regret my first marriage in any way. There were happy memories along the way, and it also brought me two of the most incredible little girls on planet earth. It also set me on this path, and made me into the man I am.

For anyone who has ever had to experience a divorce, a bad break-up, or severe heartache, it can be an extremely hard time in your life. Divorce is challenging, stressful, impacts you emotionally and takes a toll on your health. It certainly did all of those things for me.

State of Soul Searching

The fallout of my divorce sent me into a state of serious soul searching. For the first time, I was forced to be alone with just my thoughts, and had to face all of the things I did not like about myself. Most of all, when I looked at myself in the mirror, I had no idea who exactly it was that was looking back at me. I had no identity, felt no sense of purpose, lacked passion and had no clue about what I wanted out of life. My whole life, up until the divorce, I listened to everyone else’s advice about living life. I listened to my ex, to my family, and my friends. I listened to everyone except for myself, I never focused on myself. I learned that when others seek to give advice, that it often comes from a place of love, and kindness, but ultimately it’s your life to live, not theirs, and we are all meant to walk our own path through life. Others may not understand your journey, and that’s okay, because it’s not their journey to take, nor is it their life to live. The only person you have to be accountable to is yourself. You have to be able to live with the choices you make, the risks you take, or don’t. You are the one who has to live the life you create. You have to live with yourself.

The Secret of Life

The separation had a major affect on my overall health and finances. The brief existential crisis that followed ultimately led to major transformations in my personal life. It led to me taking up hiking, climbing, practicing yoga, running and losing more than 100 lbs, in addition to teaching myself finance and investing –  including how to trade stocks, funds, and digital currency.

Through this personal journey I learned something very important.  I discovered that the peace, love and happiness we desire already exists within our self.  Everything we need can be found inside of us.  We often look outside of ourselves for happiness, and contentment in the form of a better job, a new relationship, a new car, the dream house, a vacation, etc.  If you adopt this type of thinking, however, of always searching outside of yourself and  waiting for happiness to arrive in the future, then the future never arrives and life passes you by.  The journey is not a journey outward, but rather a journey taken inward.  The better connected we are with our self, the more open and connected we become to the world around us.  The more we love our self, the more open and loving we are toward everyone and everything around us.  The more in tune we are with our self, the better we can serve others, the better we can serve the world.

The Path/Journey

When I was a child I was always a wild-eyed dreamer.  I would think big and dream big.  Although my thoughts lacked maturity, and were often naïve I always believed that if a person was willing to work hard enough, willing to do whatever it takes, that they could accomplish anything, have anything they set their mind to.  As a child, I used to believe that literally anything was possible.  Happiness required nothing more than imagination, whether it was building a make-shift fort, a tree house, or playing a game of hide-and-seek with the neighborhood kids.

Somewhere along the way from childhood into adulthood, I learned a much more pragmatic and practical approach to life.  I learned to stop taking risks and to expect less out of life.  In turn, I stopped dreaming, and lost the desire to experience life in a deeper, more meaningful way.  Even more importantly, I stopped believing in myself.  I had completely lost touch with my identity and who exactly I was anymore.  I lost connection to the things in life that brought my very soul to life, the things that set my heart and mind on fire.  

I spent a lot of time alone following the divorce, which was much needed to reconnect with myself.  I began reading books, plowing through podcasts, exercising and trying a bunch of new things.  I began watching TED talks, subscribing to a variety of channels on YouTube, and started hiking.  And it was in my time with nature that I was able to reconnect with myself and with the world.

In this fast paced, instant gratification, fully integrated digital world, where we are constantly connected to the web at all-times through super computers that fit into the palm of our hand (we call them smart phones), we lose touch with the world, we lose touch with nature, and most importantly we lose touch with our self.  We replace introspect, with a scroll feed, and real life experience with virtual entertainment.

For anyone seeking a deeper connection to life, a more intimate connection with themselves, or trying to tackle a difficult life challenge, I recommend taking a little time alone in nature.  It is amazing how much time spent alone in nature can re-balance a person, and help them solve their life problems.

Becoming the Hero of My Own Life

The best advice I ever heard came from one of my favorite podcasts, the Joe Rogan Experience.

The advice is simple.  Live your life as though you are the hero of your own life story.  Pretend your life is a movie and there is a documentary crew following you around, filming you, and you have to analyze your own thoughts, decisions, and behavior.  Try to see yourself as an actor in your own life movie where you play the hero.  Think about what the hero of the movie would do if they were in your situation, and whatever that is, well that is probably what you should do next.  Live every day, and make most decisions this way.

Everyone has challenges to overcome and shit to deal with.  The difference is in how we face those challenges.  You can either be defined by your setbacks or you can overcome them, grow from them, and evolve into a better, stronger, smarter, and more resilient form of yourself.

The past is a memory, the present is now, and the future is still waiting to be written.  All you truly have in this life is the present moment, and how you choose to live it.  Your life will be a byproduct of countless conscious, and subconscious decisions.  You are always one decision away from living a completely different life.  If you want something to change about your life then change it!  Pick up the pen, and re-write the remaining chapters of your life book.

I made the decision to become the hero of my own life.  It led me to incredible mountain summits, massive caves, beautiful waterfalls, flying down zip lines and kayaking through bio-luminescent plankton.  It led me to keeping it together, and picking up the pieces after a failed marriage.  It led me to staying up after working long hours to do homework with my 1st grader.  It led me to reading bedtime stories to my kids every night.  It led me to sweating my brains out in hot yoga and transforming my body and health, both of which are still under construction.

It has led me to this point, where I will finally fly across the country  to meet a beautiful woman from California for the very first time.  It is taking me to the Golden Gate Bridge, the vineyards of Napa Valley, the cliffs and sandy beaches of Greece, to a German castle in the Bavarian Alps, through the streets and countryside of Italy, to lake Tahoe, the Rocky Mountains and Great Sand Dunes.  By the time I return back to my home in Pennsylvania Jamie and I will have visited 20 cities, 4 countries, and 9 states together.  We will have traveled 17,191 miles by plane, 944 by train, 90 by boat, and driven roughly 3,000 miles across the United States.

While dating someone 2,700 miles away seems like a totally off the wall idea for some, statistically speaking, the odds are actually in our favor.  We have already far exceeded the average length of a long distance relationship which is 4.5 months.  I was also surprised to learn that 60% (the majority)of couples participating in a long distance relationship actually stay together.

No one can know what the future will hold, but I am hopeful that our long distance relationship will continue as a real physical relationship.  I am hopeful that, together, we will start the next chapter of our lives together.   Without even meeting Jamie face-to-face, she has helped me to become a better person.  She has made me more accountable and helped me take action to accomplish many things I had previously only talked about or procrastinated about.

One day, my little girls will grow up and become women. I want them know that it’s okay to take risks and live bravely.  I want them to know that it’s okay to think big and dream big.  Most importantly I want them to believe in themselves, find the strength and courage to be their own person and to make their own decisions.  I want them to know that they can live a life they are passionate about, a life that sets their soul on fire.  I want them to know that their dreams don’t have to stay dreams.  Dreaming implies imagination and lack of action.  I want them to know that dreams can be goals and that if they’re willing to commit what it takes, they can accomplish those goals.  If there is something they want out of life, they can go out and get it.

If you made it this far into this post I want you to know that I am beyond grateful for you and the time you have committed to supporting my life and my journey.  

Over the past couple of years, I have transformed both mentally, physically and spiritually to somebody I am proud of.  I will continue to chronicle my life and journey here on Sean Hardcore.

Namaste