Reading Time:  12 Minutes

Recently, I took a big step away from social media life and scaled back from actively posting online.  You would think after going on the trip of a lifetime, combined with taking a huge leap of faith to meet a once in a lifetime girl from California that I would have been anxious to post incessantly about my experiences.  Reality, however, turned out to be quite the contrary.  Even though I could write a novel at this point from my adventures together with Jamie, I instead took months away from posting and blogging, but ultimately for good reason.

I have dedicated a great deal of time and energy to think about the vision and purpose for this website, my blog and the true meaning behind my posts.  I feel a huge sense of obligation to bring real, intrinsic value to the lives of anyone committing time out of their life to read anything I write or post about.  I did not start this website or blog to amass a huge following.  I started this site to inspire others to create and live a life they are passionate about.  My intention is to bring both positivity and real value to the lives of those who read my posts or listen to my talks.

There are so many topics and ideas I debated about for this particular blog post.  However, I ended up choosing to dedicate this one to the person who has brought so much value into my life, the girl who turned my world upside down, allowing me to see the stars along with an entire universe of endless possibilities.  My last blog post was written prior to meeting Jamie in person.  It has been more than a year since starting our wild and adventurous relationship together, and I can honestly say that we are more in love now than ever before.

Looking in hindsight, I realize that Jamie and I have been able to make things work both long-distance and in-person.  We have stayed connected virtually and in real-life (or IRL as hipsters like Jamie seem to say).  Our love has lasted traveling tens of thousands of miles across the world together, but it has also worked in day-to-day life when we are not taking exotic trips to far off places.

I literally have no doubt that Jamie and I will remain together and happily share our life experiences with one another.  Believe me when I say if Jamie and I were not going to work, we would have figured that out 20,000 miles ago.

As human beings we are hardwired to crave love and also seek to spread our own love to others.  However, true real-life love is one of the most simplistic, but yet simultaneously complicated things in life to get right.

Humans are utterly fascinated with the concept of love and have been writing about it for thousands of years.  You would think for something we prioritize and have researched so thoroughly we would have gotten it right by now.  I mean shouldn’t it be one of the easiest and most natural things on earth?  To love another person?  In some respects it can be, but ultimately it is not.

Despite thousands of years of human evolution, countless novels written and an endless number of feel-good romantic comedies filmed we still have not figured it out.  We aren’t even close.  This is apparent in the fact that 1 in 2 marriages today end in divorce.  Even for the marriages where partners remain together studies show that half of those relationships are not ideal, happy or truly fulfilling ones.

I hate to break the bad news, but at least statistically speaking the odds are not in our favor to meet someone, get married, remain married and live a happy and fulfilling life together.  Shocker right?!!  But if you’re a hopeless romantic and daredevil determined to beat the Vegas odds, hopefully you will find some worthwhile advice and true wisdom in the tips I share in this post.

Jamie and I have both experienced in our young adult life a marital relationship that resulted in divorce.  We can both relate first-hand, each in our own way, to the fact that divorce is an extremely challenging situation in life to deal with.  While divorce can be necessary in some instances, it is not an experience I would wish upon anyone.

I have experienced both a long-term and variety of shorter-term relationships prior to meeting Jamie.  So when I encountered this stunning California cutie, it was apparent right away that our connection was different from anything I experienced prior.  We vibed together in a way I had never encountered before.

While I firmly believe that traveling together would be beneficial to most relationships, you do not need to travel across the world to find love, nor to stay in love with someone.

Reflecting on some of the more important things that have contributed to creating both a happy and fulfilling relationship between Jamie and myself, here are 8 important relationship tips that have worked really well for us:

 

1.)  Seek Out Adventure

For some being adventurous might represent exploring new places or hiking challenging mountains.  While travel, fitness and hiking connected Jamie and myself together, these are not things that resonate with everyone.  Being adventurous is seeking out the things that truly make you feel alive, whatever that may be.  My advice is to make a list of everything you wish to do during your lifetime.  Then go do them together with your partner.  If you have not found your perfect match yet, there is no need to seek them out.  Do what makes you feel alive, and the law of attraction will cross your paths with your reflection at the right place at the right time.

Adventure also does not have to be traveling to some far away place.  I personally feel that mini-adventures like single day or weekend trips are equally, if not more important to enhancing and maintaining the quality of your relationship together.  Some of the best experiences Jamie and I have enjoyed together were little weekend getaways.

Day Hiking @ Hocking Hills State Park

2.)  Create New Experiences Together

Whether it’s trying a new craft beer, going wine tasting, dining at a new restaurant, hiking a different trail, cooking a new meal, going to a concert, taking a class, or experiencing a new place together, changing things up keeps life fresh and interesting.  It also keeps your relationship fresh and interesting too.

Wine Tasting @ the Pittsburgh Winery

3.)  Learn About the Other Person

Human beings are always in a constant state of change, all the way down to a cellular level.  We can tend to think of ourselves as being in a fixed state, but on the contrary we are always evolving.

Your partner is always changing too, whether you realize it or not.  Overtime you can either change together or you can change apart.  Don’t take them for granted.  How would your life be without them in it?  Take interest in their thoughts, passions, interests, feelings and struggles.

Exploring the Cathedral of Learning’s Nationality Rooms

4.)  Don’t Be Selfish

We all have to make sacrifices at times.  There are moments when you will feel exhausted or stressed and just want to relax.  Make the extra effort to do little things without being asked to.  Do the dishes, take out the trash, give your lover a massage when you know they need it.  Your partner will notice the extra effort.  When you look back, you will realize that the small things were actually the really big things.

Jamie and I are SOOO territorial about food!! The perfect place to go dessert tasting is @ Peace Love & Little Donuts

5.)  Focus on the Positive

Nobody is perfect, not even the people you love most in the world.  Over time, it becomes easy to notice the things you want to see change in somebody else.   The truth is everybody has their positive qualities as well as their personal flaws.  I, for one, am far from perfect.  Perfection is an illusion.

If you truly care about the quality of your relationship with your partner, instead of focusing on the aspects about their personality you think should change, focus on improving yourself and how you can grow as an individual.   Also, pay attention to the things you love about them.  To clarify, this does not mean ignoring negative, neglectful or inappropriate behavior in your partner, but instead choosing to focus on the positive qualities that attracts you to them.  There is a fine line, and both life and relationships are about balance.  Focusing on positive qualities allows you to be more connected with your lover.

Jamie training to run her first full-marathon and me training to run my first half-marathon

6.) Cook Meals Together

Neither Jamie nor I are particularly passionate about cooking.  Our favorite meals to cook during the week are 1-minute gigi cracker pizzas and blending together smoothies to-go.  However, we always try to reserve a day where we cook 1 or 2 meals together during the week.  I am a firm believer that cooking meals together would help most couples remain more connected to one-another.

Cooking together requires communication, cooperation, team-work and the end result is something that you both created and get to enjoy together.

A Personal Favorite: Protein Pancakes with Greek Yogurt & Blueberries, Scrambled-Eggs, Turkey Bacon & Apple Slices with Cashew Butter & Raisins

7.)  Find Your Passion

You cannot pour from an empty cup, so take care of yourself first.  The most important relationship you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself.  Its not about being selfish.  In fact, it is quite the opposite.  The key to loving another is through first loving yourself.

Taking care of yourself creates a happier you.  This in-turn makes you better to everyone and everything else around you.  Look for the things in life that make you feel alive, that excite you.  If you do not feel passionate about anything, that is a sign that you need to spend some time getting in touch with yourself.  Taking care of you allows you to better serve the world.

Picture from my first trip abroad. Photographed in Xanià, Greece

8.) Silence Your Ego

It is a natural tendency to live life viewing the world from our own perspective.  Human beings are naturally selfish creatures.  Today, love it or hate it, we live in a selfie-obsessed, insta-story world where we share every second of our daily life ranging from what we ate for breakfast to how we look in the mirror.

All of this can be summarized through one word, ego.  The key to transforming both yourself and life into pure unconditional love is letting go of your ego.

Transforming into Pure, Unconditional Love requires the releasing your Ego

 

These are just a few of the tips that have helped things work between Jamie and myself.  However, I am interested in your thoughts and ideas.  What are some things that work in your relationship?  Feel free to share.